Worst guild ever imagined!
by ShadowProve13
Summary: [AU] Placed in a world where teenagers to young adults form guilds for money and work. Tenma is captain for the guild known as simply 'Zcyther' which is pretty much a group of idiots who don't want real jobs. Soon they find themselves being targeted by other guilds who believe they're also part of the competition to see who's the best guild in their town.


***Breaks through window and lands on the ground* Ouchie... *Gets up and clears throat* Greetings to the Evil Council of Doom- I mean hello Minna~ **  
**Well it's been over a month since I last did something. I was writing a very long chapter for Shadow Games on my school laptop because it has Microsoft Word on it unlike my home laptop... and yesterday my school laptop went baka, I signed in and the desktop is all black and says "Windows Explorer has stopped working" so I have to get that fixed... or buy a new one from the computer teacher _ _||**  
**Seriously! I had like 5000 words written QAQ**

**So since it's Friday, I'll attempt re-writing my chapter on the weekend. Though for now here's a stupid idea I came up with thanks to browsing Zerochan and ****Darjeeling-Tea's pictures (Pixiv ID 808117). Pretty much after reading Fairy Tail and finding the cover image I got this idea of the IE GO/CS/Galaxy characters being in guilds and that they're all pretty useless when it comes to jobs - hell I've already got the image of Namikawa Rensuke with a giant bazooka shooting at anything that moves xD**  
**Though I'm also thinking of bringing in some of the OCs from Shadow Games too, since I love them so much o3o**

**As you know, it's AU so me likes Kirino as a female in AU stories - don't like, don't read, and most of all don't complain in reviews. **

**Enjoy, ya? ;)**

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The brunette clad in red and black nervously stared at the large middle-aged woman in front of him. Sweat trickled down his brow and he swallowed his saliva waiting for her to say something though she just kept looking at her Persian cat which he and his team rescued after a long day of chasing it. "S-so," He took a deep breath to calm down his shaking voice. "So, shall we talk about the payment insid-"

"Payment?!" The woman screeched. "My award-winning white Persian... is **bald**! How dare you damage his beautiful fur, now he looks like those disgusting hairless cats!" She walked inside and slammed the door in his face.

Tenma stared at the door before madly pounding his fists against it. "Please Miss! Open up! It's not really our fault; how were we supposed to know that he was actually rolling around in a puddle of fuel and then a guy walking past threw his cigarette bud on the ground right next to his tail which caused him to catch on fire!" He clung to the expensive door as one of his teammates dressed in blue and black tried to remove him from the said door.

"Bad Tenma! Down boy." Shindou tugged and tugged though nothing worked as their 'captain' kept yelling, begging the woman to open the door. "Tsurugi help me!" Now it was he who was begging.

Tsurugi was leaning against the slim stone pillar which was placed at the top of the stairs, one on each side. He had a sly smirk plastered on his pale lips. "I would but, this is too entertaining. Besides, you look like you're handling it okay to me."

The darker brunette's jaw dropped and eyes looked like small plates. "Are you friggin' kidding me?! He's going to rip the door off its hinges! Look at the door, the handle is real gold! Think about how much it'll cost us to fix this." Shindou knew he hit Tsurugi where it hurt most, not literally of course. The taller boy in the somewhat dull grey and black jumpsuit was a money freak, or in Minamisawa's words 'money whore'.  
Tsurugi's eye twitched at the thought of having to pay for something that expensive while the woman wouldn't pay them just because of a _small _accident. He marched over to the door, eyebrows burrowed and a scrowl on his face he lifted his hand up and swung it down sideways into the crook of Tenma's neck knocking him out cold.

Shindou caught him and slung him over his right shoulder, frowning at Tsurugi. "This was your best option?" He asked monotone. Tsurugi shrugged and walked down the stairs as the other boy followed, carrying the one clad in red like a sack of potatoes; in Tsurugi's opinion Tenma's brain was a potato, well the size of one anyway.

* * *

"Welcome back~." The rosette chimed as the boys returned to their shared apartment. "How did the mission go?" She asked as they entered the room, tilting her head to the side in a cute manner.

Shindou sighed and ran his hand through his hair as he quite literally threw the knocked out boy onto the baby-blue couch. "I don't want to talk about it Kirino." He left for the kitchen. Kirino looked at Tsurugi who sat down on the couch after pushing Tenma on the floor.

"What happened Tsurugi?" She asked him. The said boy opened one eye and looked at her before sitting up straight.

"Where to start?" He stretched one of his arms up until he heard a crack and brought it back down. "So as you know this woman wanted us to get her cat which ran away. We found it rolling in a puddle which we only realised was fuel as a cigarette bud landed in it and burnt off all the cat's hair so she refused to pay us and well... Tenma nearly raped her door."

The rosette stared gaping at his recollection of events. Slowly she looked down at Tenma who was on the floor and still out cold. "Nearly... raped the door?" Tsurugi chuckled as he saw her grossed-out expression.

"Not literally Kirino, that's what it looked like to me. He was actually trying to get the woman to open the door and wouldn't let go so I knocked him out." He explained correctly and Kirino was much grateful for that or else she would have been stuck with scarring images.

"Though... I can actually see Tenma in the future resorting to... doing such things to a door." She admitted. Tsurugi laughed and wiped a tear from his eye.

"That's a good one pinky, best thing I've heard all day. Though I guess he would be smart enough to buy a doll for that."

"Ew, Tsurugi!" The rosette shivered at the newly disturbing thought.

"What?" He smirked at her. "You suggested a door; they're both lifeless objects. Besides, at least with a doll he wouldn't get his dick stuck in the mail slot." He laughed again as Kirino's eye twitched in pure terror as his words sunk into her mind. "You should see your face, it's priceless!" He kept laughing and making remarks as the poor rosette sat there with the colour drained from her face.  
**(A/N: I'm sorry for the disturbing images, but blame my cousin Cj whose sitting next to me and came up with that part xD)**

* * *

Purple hair flicked back as Minamisawa set up the table with food. He looked around but only saw two of his four teammates sitting down. "Umm... I know that Tenma is still over there on the floor but... where's Kirino? She's never late to dinner, or any other time which involves food." He sweatdropped.

Shindou looked at him and nodded. "Yeah, I haven't seen her since we got home," He turned to the navy-blue haired boy sitting across from him. "Tsurugi do you know where she is?"

"Oh," A small smirk crept up on his face. "She said that she was going to bed early."

"Why? Is she feeling sick?" Minamisawa asked as he sat down with a worried expression.

"In a way." Tsurugi chuckled making the two boys stare at him with deadpan expressions.

Meanwhile on the other side of the room... nothing has really changed. Tenma is still lying on the floor, knocked out and somewhat twitching.

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**And finished~! Took me a while to type this because of Cj and his really gross ideas making me laugh xD**  
**I hope you liked the first chapter, R&R if you wish for this to continue. Peace out o/**


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